I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while. Okay, not this post exactly. What I really wanted was to write a post that talked about how the new year has gotten off to a bright and shiny start. How Write Hella Words kicked off smooth. How I fell into my new schedule and habits easily…but I can’t.
Because that is not how it’s been. Instead, 2020 started like a charging rhino—head down, full bore, and goring every damn thing in its path.
There were injuries and illnesses. Holidays turned upside down. Emotional ups and downs. Professional meltdowns (looking at you RWA). **STRESS** (did I mention I’m the president of a local RWA chapter)
But there was one bright spot. Every day I wrote my 1370 new words.
This isn’t me bragging. I’m sure only did it because this project has made me feel accountable to live up to my promises. I’m still far away from my goal of feeling accountable only to myself and my innate worthiness.
Some days it was hard to get going. Some days it was harder. But each time something strange happened.
I started enjoying myself.
On a few particularly nasty days, it was the only part I liked.
It took a really shitty beginning to the year to make me remember how much I liked writing. How putting a story down on (electric) paper can pull me out of my routine thoughts and anxiety. How writing funny dialog can make me laugh, and how exciting it is to summon an action scene out of thin air with nothing more than words.
These are the moments that got me through the rough patches. The truth is, I really like the book I’m working on now. It’s funny and exciting, and it’s reminding me that I’m those things too, even when I feel like crap.
On January 1st, I put my push pin in the wall.
Every day a paper clip goes on when the words get done.
Here’s what the chain looks like on January 15th.
Small but mighty. Hard-won little victories. Remembering why I chose this.